[There are plenty of reasons that Sunny doesn't want to go back. Maybe he'll be able to voice them all one day - likely not. The truth is, there's just nothing waiting for him back home. Even his beloved friends will end up out of touch and a city away. He's tired of rotting.
[He tries to think of something else. He's still here. They'll focus on the TV. Sunny goes over to it, fiddling with the buttons, trying different tricks to turn it on. It's a familiar type to him - just like something from his world, his...living room.
[Sunny glances over his shoulder at Luz. He still feels...unmoored and half-awake, but...he can talk about a TV. That's easy enough. He gestures for her to come closer, then points out a few of the buttons.]
Power...volume up...down...channel up...down...
[But...it won't turn on. Ready to be packed up, he supposes.]
It's not-- [Sunny hears the sharpness of his tone and clamps his mouth shut. He doesn't mean to get harsh with Luz; can't tell what it is that's making him prickle. She's right. He doesn't want to be here anymore...]
S...sorry.
[Sunny moves away from the TV. Everything is packed in boxes. He opens one of the cabinets and...
[There's a game, and a message flashing on the screen; a coin to be found. He glances over to see if Luz has noticed.]
[Luz touches Sunny and he flinches; doesn't move away, but feels tense. He feels a spotlight - more than acknowledged, too, and it isn't a bad feeling, albeit an uncomfortable one.
[Luz notices his flinch so she moves her hand away slowly, but still does have her hand right at his elbow, so she wouldn't be too touchy but gave the impression that she was still supporting him].
I had a feeling. Wanna talk about it? No one else is here, and I'll keep looking for something for us to get out.
[That way he could talk without feeling like he was on the spot].
["Wanna talk about it?" Simple question, right? Sunny could - should - normally would - just say, "No," and leave it at that, but it's not just that.
[He knows what will happen if he tries to tell Luz too much, or if Luz pushes too far. Her offer is kind - he should be able to trust her, but he doesn't...]
I can't. [It comes out weak, pained; Sunny hugs himself with his arms wrapped tightly around his middle.]
[Luz was watching him, more than looking for a way out. Sunny was not just some kid, or Aubrey's other boyfriend: he was HER friend, and he was still trying to compose himself so he wouldn't freak out.
She remembered their conversation about Omori, and how he was frightened about what might happen].
Sunny. I'm going to look for way out for us. If you don't want to talk about anything, I get it. I understand.
But know I won't tell anyone, if you do. Your secrets don't leave this room. Even I know that sometimes there are things I need to say to other people.
If I keep it to myself, it can take me to some dark places.
[Sorry, Luz, but you just don't know him like that.
[A knife is produced from the boy's pocket - flipped and caught in his hand. He juts his arm out and holds the knife point only inches away from Luz's throat.]
Things happened to him, things he keeps inside, all the time. He doesn't say it, and people let it go, but some know, and maybe are scared to talk about it.
But they should let him talk. He feels like he can't, and he's so scared that if he talks, no one will ever care about him anymore.
[Omori pictures his steak knife wedged sideways through Luz's throat. She puts words in Sunny's mouth like they're her own - they are her own, or so she says.
[Then, she. Should. Know.
[But she's still talking.
[Fine. They can talk.]
Sunny isn't you, Luz. [His voice is even, calm. He watches Luz's eyes.] Whatever you did to disappoint the people that care about you, that's your fault.
You don't deserve them, right? Even if they forgave you, you must know that's true...
[Luz realized now this was a lot like when she had faced Belos in his mindscape, where he had the answers and she was asking questions, and then he steered her to the truth, his truth. That he had manipulated her so well she had given him just what he needed.
But it needed to change. It needed to change to their fourth encounter, the truly dangerous one, where he showed his true face and came at her, showed his cards and flexed his power on her, almost killing her.
Strange, how that was starting to be familiar, coming close to death, and staring it back, having to BE unafraid].
I faced what I had to face then. That's my own burden, and I'll carry that.
But Sunny deserves someone listening to him. Helping him. And that's what I want to do.
No one should be petrified by their mistakes forever.
[That was the really annoying part too: NO ONE really could say what they wanted to, and where things got murky, Luz knew she was risking herself here.
The boy had a knife to her. She could see that, she could even feel that heaviness in the air where the knife could come, where the moment of being unaware meant she could lose something. A limb, a body part.
But Luz wasn't trying to think about that now].
No. He did that. He does that. He's scared. That's why you come, isn't it?
You help him. That's why no one is angry about Omori. Like at the birthday party. They know you help.
And you know what, maybe you do. I know I don't know anything about the real details. I'm not stupid.
But someone's got to let him talk. He wants to leave here someday, possibly feel better, I think. Can he do that if he never faces the things he can't talk about?
Or when he thinks he's lower than so many other people, who love him?
[Ha. That birthday party. Luz probably doesn't realize what took place only a few days later - only hours after she and Sunny sent off a lantern together. That birthday party meant nothing - a house full of liars trying to twisting themselves back into Sunny's life.
[It almost worked. Omori should have known better. Who knew that he wouldn't actually have to do anything to keep Kel away when Kel is perfectly capable of fucking everything up himself?
[Luz's questions won't be answered. Sunny is meant for happiness. He and Omori both know that very well. But it's none of Luz's business.]
You need to stop asking questions.
Stop putting your own insecurities onto someone you barely know.
Sunny is here. He's taken care of. He doesn't need you.
[He sure liked to tell Luz what she shouldn't do, and she knew well enough that her insecurities were bad enough. That they were own.
And Omori understood there was some projection there. But Sunny had his own issues too. You'd have to be blind not to see them. Saying that he was OK and fine wasn't right either.
Even being here, in this place, bothered him. There was a connection to moving, which he didn't want to do, and the feeling that he was back here that unnerved him enough that Omori was here].
Maybe you don't understand. So I'll say it plainly, so you get it too.
I want to help him. The place where he is, it's slowly swallowing him. Not immediately, but little by little, and one day he won't even know how to get out.
It's not about me and him being the same, I know we aren't. I still feel like I can talk to people about my pain. But he doesn't.
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[He tries to think of something else. He's still here. They'll focus on the TV. Sunny goes over to it, fiddling with the buttons, trying different tricks to turn it on. It's a familiar type to him - just like something from his world, his...living room.
[He can't get it to come to life.]
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After all, she might be facing what happened after death, and that was a pretty upsetting concept.
Luz watched him, smiling a little because obviously that TV was not a thing she really saw too much of these days].
How do those things work anyway?
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Power...volume up...down...channel up...down...
[But...it won't turn on. Ready to be packed up, he supposes.]
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Oh, so. The buttons are actually on the TV then. And are actually big instead of small! Whoa. Simplicity. Sounds like a nicer time!
[Luz hit it a few times, then sighed].
Should I kick it? I feel like I should kick it.
But let's see what we can get out of here. If this place is messing with you, I don't want to keep you here. Especially when it comes to moving.
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S...sorry.
[Sunny moves away from the TV. Everything is packed in boxes. He opens one of the cabinets and...
[There's a game, and a message flashing on the screen; a coin to be found. He glances over to see if Luz has noticed.]
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[Luz put her hand on his shoulder].
You can express yourself, okay? Just say what you were saying.
[Luz did note what the arcade cabinet said, but didn't see what it would result from.
She didn't have a coin, after all].
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[He feels himself swallow; takes a deep breath.]
It's not...about moving.
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I had a feeling. Wanna talk about it? No one else is here, and I'll keep looking for something for us to get out.
[That way he could talk without feeling like he was on the spot].
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[He knows what will happen if he tries to tell Luz too much, or if Luz pushes too far. Her offer is kind - he should be able to trust her, but he doesn't...]
I can't. [It comes out weak, pained; Sunny hugs himself with his arms wrapped tightly around his middle.]
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[Luz was watching him, more than looking for a way out. Sunny was not just some kid, or Aubrey's other boyfriend: he was HER friend, and he was still trying to compose himself so he wouldn't freak out.
She remembered their conversation about Omori, and how he was frightened about what might happen].
Sunny. I'm going to look for way out for us. If you don't want to talk about anything, I get it. I understand.
But know I won't tell anyone, if you do. Your secrets don't leave this room. Even I know that sometimes there are things I need to say to other people.
If I keep it to myself, it can take me to some dark places.
cw: alters/shifting, violence/threats SORRY LUZ
[A knife is produced from the boy's pocket - flipped and caught in his hand. He juts his arm out and holds the knife point only inches away from Luz's throat.]
That's enough.
Find the coin.
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Put that away. You know what I can do. Don't think I can't disarm someone with a knife.
[Luz was speaking soft, but with conviction].
I was meaning to talk to you.
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You'd hurt Sunny? [The knife flips once more in his hand.] But you're such a good friend.
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I'd hope you feel the same way. That it doesn't just have to end with someone getting hurt.
I don't want that for him. Or you.
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You don't know him, either.
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And I care about him. I know you have to know that.
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What reason do you have to care?
He's a nice guy. Is that all it takes?
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Things happened to him, things he keeps inside, all the time. He doesn't say it, and people let it go, but some know, and maybe are scared to talk about it.
But they should let him talk. He feels like he can't, and he's so scared that if he talks, no one will ever care about him anymore.
I KNOW what that's like.
cw: violent thoughts
[Then, she. Should. Know.
[But she's still talking.
[Fine. They can talk.]
Sunny isn't you, Luz. [His voice is even, calm. He watches Luz's eyes.] Whatever you did to disappoint the people that care about you, that's your fault.
You don't deserve them, right? Even if they forgave you, you must know that's true...
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But it needed to change. It needed to change to their fourth encounter, the truly dangerous one, where he showed his true face and came at her, showed his cards and flexed his power on her, almost killing her.
Strange, how that was starting to be familiar, coming close to death, and staring it back, having to BE unafraid].
I faced what I had to face then. That's my own burden, and I'll carry that.
But Sunny deserves someone listening to him. Helping him. And that's what I want to do.
No one should be petrified by their mistakes forever.
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What makes you think that Sunny wants to talk to you? He's not here, is he?
You think I made him go away? You think he has no one. Helping. Him?
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[That was the really annoying part too: NO ONE really could say what they wanted to, and where things got murky, Luz knew she was risking herself here.
The boy had a knife to her. She could see that, she could even feel that heaviness in the air where the knife could come, where the moment of being unaware meant she could lose something. A limb, a body part.
But Luz wasn't trying to think about that now].
No. He did that. He does that. He's scared. That's why you come, isn't it?
You help him. That's why no one is angry about Omori. Like at the birthday party. They know you help.
And you know what, maybe you do. I know I don't know anything about the real details. I'm not stupid.
But someone's got to let him talk. He wants to leave here someday, possibly feel better, I think. Can he do that if he never faces the things he can't talk about?
Or when he thinks he's lower than so many other people, who love him?
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[It almost worked. Omori should have known better. Who knew that he wouldn't actually have to do anything to keep Kel away when Kel is perfectly capable of fucking everything up himself?
[Luz's questions won't be answered. Sunny is meant for happiness. He and Omori both know that very well. But it's none of Luz's business.]
You need to stop asking questions.
Stop putting your own insecurities onto someone you barely know.
Sunny is here. He's taken care of. He doesn't need you.
Are you really sure he even wants you?
ha its ok I already deleted the other one!
[He sure liked to tell Luz what she shouldn't do, and she knew well enough that her insecurities were bad enough. That they were own.
And Omori understood there was some projection there. But Sunny had his own issues too. You'd have to be blind not to see them. Saying that he was OK and fine wasn't right either.
Even being here, in this place, bothered him. There was a connection to moving, which he didn't want to do, and the feeling that he was back here that unnerved him enough that Omori was here].
Maybe you don't understand. So I'll say it plainly, so you get it too.
I want to help him. The place where he is, it's slowly swallowing him. Not immediately, but little by little, and one day he won't even know how to get out.
It's not about me and him being the same, I know we aren't. I still feel like I can talk to people about my pain. But he doesn't.
And I'm scared that this will crush him one day.
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[The knife is held steady. Void dark eyes bore holes through Luz Noceda.]
Sunny has been swallowed. Little. By little.
Sunny has been. Crushed.
You wouldn't know. They wouldn't know.
You can't save him. The boy is dead. It's too late.
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feel free to move toward wrap or w/e you prefer!
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