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[sadpoem]

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cw: suicidal ideation allusions

[sadpoem]

[Sunny is a good listener. His friends(?) from home have always said so.

[Xie Lian's story is difficult to listen to. The horrors he's faced are beyond all comprehension in a world like Sunny's. No one could be stabbed one hundred times, or buried for one hundred years, and have to continue living. Sometimes, even just waking up in the morning feels too insurmountable. Xie Lian has survived unthinkable things. Should he have been made to?

[Sunny doesn't interrupt. He weaves his hand through the bangs of Xie Lian's hair, runs his knuckles lightly over the man's soft, teary cheeks. It's terrible. It's all too terrible to imagine.]

Lian...[Sunny's voice is soft, but not quiet. He wants his friend to hear it - to latch onto what he can, and feel at ease. Sunny doesn't know if he can ease pain like Xie Lian's, but if he was going to try for anyone, it would be this man.]

I'm so sorry. You didn't...deserve that...

You're safe...here...with me...

You're...good. You are...

[disgracedprince]

{His eyes close under the soft touches and the frantic racing of his heart calms. The tightness in his chest eases as if iron shackles are being released. He hears his name and he looks up at Sunny, his face tear-stained, but his lips are curving into a small, grateful smile.}

I don't really care what happens to me. You are the one that matters, Sunny. I...conquered...the Emperor. I've incarcerated him under a mountain. I know I'm stronger than him and so, I can keep you, Aubrey and anyone else safe.

{He snuggles against Sunny nonetheless.}

It's just...sometimes my heart is sore. And my head.

[sadpoem]

[Sunny's touch remains gentle, some deeper sadness seeping into his expression as he looks down upon his beautiful friend.]

I care what happens to you.

Because...I love you.

[disgracedprince]

{Pressing his face against Sunny's stomach, he gathers his strength, bit by bit.}

I love you too. Please don't be sad, Sunny. The life I have now is so much better and I want to share it with you.

[sadpoem]

[His voice is soft - so terribly, terribly gentle. He even manages the smallest of smiles, regardless of whether or not Xie Lian can see it.]

I'm just...sad with you...right now.

It's okay. Sometimes...you need help too.

[disgracedprince]

{Sunny is warm and soft. He is such a good person and Xie Lian is so grateful they met.}

Everyone does. {Raising himself, he smiles at his friend.} I came here because... I knew you would accept me. I knew you would listen.

Thank you.

[sadpoem]

[Sunny nods, with more motion, more enthusiasm than he normally manages. He puts a hand on either one of Xie Lian's shoulder, looking him dead in the eye.]

I always will. For you...

Always.

[Because Sunny believes, above anything, that he and Xie Lian's friendship will truly last forever. It's one of the only thing he's trusted at all in the last four years.]

[disgracedprince]

{Xie Lian's smile grows and he wraps Sunny in a hug, resting his head on the boy's shoulder.}

I always will for you too. You can tell me anything.

{No matter where they go, this is unchanging. Because they can hold onto it in their hearts, far from any enemies.}

lmk if u wanna wrap or if u have more hehe

[sadpoem]

[The strangest part is that Sunny believes it. There is one truth he's held inside of him for the past four - almost five - years; only recently was he able to confess his sins to Aubrey, who deserved to know, who loved him anyway.

[Xie Lian would love him anyway, he thinks. It's hard to believe, and he believes it anyway. Now isn't the time - there will never be an easy one, but...

[One day, maybe, he will. He thinks Xie Lian would forgive him for waiting...]

I know. [He gives his dear friend a little squeeze around the shoulders.] I trust you.

[It's a big deal.]

More than anyone...

;;

[disgracedprince]

{It's true. Xie Lian will love Sunny no matter what. Sins can't change that or interfere with it. Smiling, he snuggles against Sunny and wraps his blanket around the other boy too.}

Are you having any trouble sleeping? I mean... Besides the trouble I have caused you tonight? I'm sorry, Sunny.

[sadpoem]

Don't say sorry.

[Sunny gives Xie Lian another squeeze, going so far as to jostle him just a little, though...it's a very weak effort. He just wants his friend to know that he has no ill will toward him whatsoever...]

We can...sleep together.

[disgracedprince]

{The little jostle amuses him and he bows his head, understanding that Sunny accepts him, faults and all. His chest is warm and his heart settles into a comfortable rhythm. He pulls back the blankets on Sunny's bed and smiles softly.}

Yes, we can. I'll sleep nearest to the door. Then I can make sure you are safe.

cries we can wrap it up here or next <3

[sadpoem]

[It's always the simplest sentiments from Xie Lian that strike Sunny the most. Surely, his friend can't know the countless nights Sunny lay in the dark, terrified of every growing shadow, watching the door as if there might be something waiting for him on just the other side.

[He used to feel so afraid.

[With Xie Lian there, it doesn't matter if there's anything else on the other side of that door. Sunny is safe.

[He'd forgotten what that felt like.

[Settling down in the bed beside Xie Lian, Sunny takes the man's face in his hands and presses their foreheads together, grateful. It's the best way he knows how to communicate it.]

Goodnight. Xie Lian.

My friend...