{He wakes one morning, cold and shaking, his mind filled with...difficult memories. Avoiding any mirrors, wrapped in a blanket, he makes his way to Sunny's room. Knocking on the door, he hopes he isn't waking his friend. The poor boy deserves what rest he can get!}
[Kenma and Xie Lian - even Aubrey, who so often shares Sunny's room with him - are respectful about knocking. When he hears it, he's unalarmed, already getting up from his bed to pull the door open.
[When he hears Xie Lian's voice on the other side, however, dread grips his heart. It's not often that he hears his friend so broken. In a place like this, Sunny fears the cause.
[The door is yanked open; immediately, Xie Lian's hand is in Sunny's, the boy's face broken open with concern.]
{Xie Lian is pale and huddled in his blanket. His hair is mussed and he is only wearing his under-robe. But the worst part is the fear in his eyes. He clutches to Sunny's hand and pulls himself closer.}
I... Can you keep me company? {Until his dreams recede and he remembers not to fear them.} I'm sorry.
{He touches his throat where the shackle was once embedded into his flesh. San Lang... San Lang had given everything to break his bonds. Then he had disappeared like a dream, promising... Promising to return. And then there was Jun Wu, covered in blood, slamming Xie Lian's head against rock, trying to break him.
He isn't broken. He just hasn't had a moment to breathe! Stumbling into the room, he follows Sunny's guidance, curling up like a small child, his head on his friend's lap.}
I was pierced...a hundred times...by a sword. He said it would save everyone from the...Human Face...disease. It hurt, Sunny. It hurt so much I wanted to die. But I couldn't.
I healed and returned to help the kingdom that conquered my own. I wanted peace. I wasn't... I wasn't looking to harm them. But my cousin was different. All of my good work was undone and I was blamed for the treachery. My student...he stabbed me through and buried me. I was alive.
I was buried for years. {He shivers and grips his blanket tighter.} I escaped. After a hundred years.
I wandered, fearing him... White No-Face... The one who caused the Human Face disease. The one who caused my torture. He hounded me.
The entire time, I never realized... He was my mentor. The Emperor of Heaven. He wanted to drive me insane.
[Sunny is a good listener. His friends(?) from home have always said so.
[Xie Lian's story is difficult to listen to. The horrors he's faced are beyond all comprehension in a world like Sunny's. No one could be stabbed one hundred times, or buried for one hundred years, and have to continue living. Sometimes, even just waking up in the morning feels too insurmountable. Xie Lian has survived unthinkable things. Should he have been made to?
[Sunny doesn't interrupt. He weaves his hand through the bangs of Xie Lian's hair, runs his knuckles lightly over the man's soft, teary cheeks. It's terrible. It's all too terrible to imagine.]
Lian...[Sunny's voice is soft, but not quiet. He wants his friend to hear it - to latch onto what he can, and feel at ease. Sunny doesn't know if he can ease pain like Xie Lian's, but if he was going to try for anyone, it would be this man.]
{His eyes close under the soft touches and the frantic racing of his heart calms. The tightness in his chest eases as if iron shackles are being released. He hears his name and he looks up at Sunny, his face tear-stained, but his lips are curving into a small, grateful smile.}
I don't really care what happens to me. You are the one that matters, Sunny. I...conquered...the Emperor. I've incarcerated him under a mountain. I know I'm stronger than him and so, I can keep you, Aubrey and anyone else safe.
{He snuggles against Sunny nonetheless.}
It's just...sometimes my heart is sore. And my head.
[Sunny nods, with more motion, more enthusiasm than he normally manages. He puts a hand on either one of Xie Lian's shoulder, looking him dead in the eye.]
I always will. For you...
Always.
[Because Sunny believes, above anything, that he and Xie Lian's friendship will truly last forever. It's one of the only thing he's trusted at all in the last four years.]
[The strangest part is that Sunny believes it. There is one truth he's held inside of him for the past four - almost five - years; only recently was he able to confess his sins to Aubrey, who deserved to know, who loved him anyway.
[Xie Lian would love him anyway, he thinks. It's hard to believe, and he believes it anyway. Now isn't the time - there will never be an easy one, but...
[One day, maybe, he will. He thinks Xie Lian would forgive him for waiting...]
I know. [He gives his dear friend a little squeeze around the shoulders.] I trust you.
{It's true. Xie Lian will love Sunny no matter what. Sins can't change that or interfere with it. Smiling, he snuggles against Sunny and wraps his blanket around the other boy too.}
Are you having any trouble sleeping? I mean... Besides the trouble I have caused you tonight? I'm sorry, Sunny.
[Sunny gives Xie Lian another squeeze, going so far as to jostle him just a little, though...it's a very weak effort. He just wants his friend to know that he has no ill will toward him whatsoever...]
{The little jostle amuses him and he bows his head, understanding that Sunny accepts him, faults and all. His chest is warm and his heart settles into a comfortable rhythm. He pulls back the blankets on Sunny's bed and smiles softly.}
Yes, we can. I'll sleep nearest to the door. Then I can make sure you are safe.
[It's always the simplest sentiments from Xie Lian that strike Sunny the most. Surely, his friend can't know the countless nights Sunny lay in the dark, terrified of every growing shadow, watching the door as if there might be something waiting for him on just the other side.
[He used to feel so afraid.
[With Xie Lian there, it doesn't matter if there's anything else on the other side of that door. Sunny is safe.
[He'd forgotten what that felt like.
[Settling down in the bed beside Xie Lian, Sunny takes the man's face in his hands and presses their foreheads together, grateful. It's the best way he knows how to communicate it.]
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{Action}
...please... {He whispers brokenly.}
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[When he hears Xie Lian's voice on the other side, however, dread grips his heart. It's not often that he hears his friend so broken. In a place like this, Sunny fears the cause.
[The door is yanked open; immediately, Xie Lian's hand is in Sunny's, the boy's face broken open with concern.]
Lian...? What's...wrong?
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I... Can you keep me company? {Until his dreams recede and he remembers not to fear them.} I'm sorry.
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[Sunny pulls the man into his room, closing the door behind him. He leads them to his bed, sitting down, guiding Xie Lian with his hand to join him.
[He doesn't stop there, however. He places his hand lightly on the man's head, attempting to guide him down to rest in Sunny's lap.]
Of course...
I will...
Don't...don't be sorry...
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He isn't broken. He just hasn't had a moment to breathe! Stumbling into the room, he follows Sunny's guidance, curling up like a small child, his head on his friend's lap.}
I was pierced...a hundred times...by a sword. He said it would save everyone from the...Human Face...disease. It hurt, Sunny. It hurt so much I wanted to die. But I couldn't.
I healed and returned to help the kingdom that conquered my own. I wanted peace. I wasn't... I wasn't looking to harm them. But my cousin was different. All of my good work was undone and I was blamed for the treachery. My student...he stabbed me through and buried me. I was alive.
I was buried for years. {He shivers and grips his blanket tighter.} I escaped. After a hundred years.
I wandered, fearing him... White No-Face... The one who caused the Human Face disease. The one who caused my torture. He hounded me.
The entire time, I never realized... He was my mentor. The Emperor of Heaven. He wanted to drive me insane.
cw: suicidal ideation allusions
[Xie Lian's story is difficult to listen to. The horrors he's faced are beyond all comprehension in a world like Sunny's. No one could be stabbed one hundred times, or buried for one hundred years, and have to continue living. Sometimes, even just waking up in the morning feels too insurmountable. Xie Lian has survived unthinkable things. Should he have been made to?
[Sunny doesn't interrupt. He weaves his hand through the bangs of Xie Lian's hair, runs his knuckles lightly over the man's soft, teary cheeks. It's terrible. It's all too terrible to imagine.]
Lian...[Sunny's voice is soft, but not quiet. He wants his friend to hear it - to latch onto what he can, and feel at ease. Sunny doesn't know if he can ease pain like Xie Lian's, but if he was going to try for anyone, it would be this man.]
I'm so sorry. You didn't...deserve that...
You're safe...here...with me...
You're...good. You are...
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I don't really care what happens to me. You are the one that matters, Sunny. I...conquered...the Emperor. I've incarcerated him under a mountain. I know I'm stronger than him and so, I can keep you, Aubrey and anyone else safe.
{He snuggles against Sunny nonetheless.}
It's just...sometimes my heart is sore. And my head.
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I care what happens to you.
Because...I love you.
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I love you too. Please don't be sad, Sunny. The life I have now is so much better and I want to share it with you.
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I'm just...sad with you...right now.
It's okay. Sometimes...you need help too.
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Everyone does. {Raising himself, he smiles at his friend.} I came here because... I knew you would accept me. I knew you would listen.
Thank you.
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I always will. For you...
Always.
[Because Sunny believes, above anything, that he and Xie Lian's friendship will truly last forever. It's one of the only thing he's trusted at all in the last four years.]
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I always will for you too. You can tell me anything.
{No matter where they go, this is unchanging. Because they can hold onto it in their hearts, far from any enemies.}
lmk if u wanna wrap or if u have more hehe
[Xie Lian would love him anyway, he thinks. It's hard to believe, and he believes it anyway. Now isn't the time - there will never be an easy one, but...
[One day, maybe, he will. He thinks Xie Lian would forgive him for waiting...]
I know. [He gives his dear friend a little squeeze around the shoulders.] I trust you.
[It's a big deal.]
More than anyone...
;;
Are you having any trouble sleeping? I mean... Besides the trouble I have caused you tonight? I'm sorry, Sunny.
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[Sunny gives Xie Lian another squeeze, going so far as to jostle him just a little, though...it's a very weak effort. He just wants his friend to know that he has no ill will toward him whatsoever...]
We can...sleep together.
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Yes, we can. I'll sleep nearest to the door. Then I can make sure you are safe.
cries we can wrap it up here or next <3
[He used to feel so afraid.
[With Xie Lian there, it doesn't matter if there's anything else on the other side of that door. Sunny is safe.
[He'd forgotten what that felt like.
[Settling down in the bed beside Xie Lian, Sunny takes the man's face in his hands and presses their foreheads together, grateful. It's the best way he knows how to communicate it.]
Goodnight. Xie Lian.
My friend...